Weaving dreams;
Caving shivers;
Careful breath;
Wintering pain;
Gone with nothing,
Here with everything.

Troubles begin with every waking eye. Needless to say that health is more important than hate. Here we are. Falling on a plain, simple, shuttering shadow. It blinks. It moves. It thinks. Content as the sea. Brave is all it is.

It is amazing how one individual moment can change a life. I am going through an emaculate transformation. It is the most wonderful feeling. When I look into the sky I feel my knees weaken and my voice crack. It is perfect. The prestine scent of a warm spring breeze, mixed with the darkness that surrounds me; it is heaven itself. One day I would love to take off and never look back at what I have "accomplished" here. It would be a dream come true and I feel that I am ready for what may await me. Mark and I were talking about taking a cross Canada adventure. I think that it would be the single most amazing journey in my life. I cannot wait for that to happen. Maybe it will happen next summer? Maybe next fall, I don't know and I will not think anymore of it until that time arrises and I am swept off on a journey of this beautiful country. It will be unforgetable.

Tomorrow is my last exam for the year and I feel that I will do fine. It will probably be my best exam this year and I hope that it is so that I will be able to get into next year. The best part I would have to say that this semester brought to me was my ability to continue to meet people and enjoy their company without even trying to. I am impressed by the shear amount of people in this world who want to say "hello". It is amazing because this world has turned into such a commercial sandbox that even the slightest movements tag you as "uncool" or "not with-it". That is what I do not understand about this culture. I thought that we were striving for a Utopian society where everyone got along? Now all we see is war on TV; Nike shoes on elephants; political figures "shaking their booty" for the camera. Has that what our society has been transformed into, where the camera is God? Why is that? Is it because TV is "cool" and God is not? Is it because you can pick up a 27" Flat Screen TV for $599, and God you have to spend a lifetime to get to know? That's right. The easier it is, the better it is. Amazing how we look back on our culture before the world wars and see a world where people actually talked to each other and God, and didn't rely on a blinking picture tube to make them happy and popular. I think that Matt Good put it best when he states in "A Long Way Down" : " Today I'm leaving/ This bullshit one horse town/ Full of cowboys and indians/ Who only have balls when there's a camera around".

Isn't it marvelous how we all turned out? We should be ashamed of ourselves.

I thought that this would fill the mood that is being experienced right now. Facinating how past emotions come back into a form that only you can understand and relate to. People say that they can relate, but listen, they can't. It is impossible. Greediness through laughter makes it all worth while because no one can relate. Nothing is automatic. Nothing is only skin deep; it's all a lie.

Felt your gaze pierce right through me,
Disguised as a dove, true and true
Nothing gets by you, nothing realized;
Dreams get shattered,
Fly away little dove seize the day;
Fly away greedy dove, never come this way
Captivation is the key,
Wrapped around your skinny finger,
Wound tight and unforgiving,
As is the hole in your head;
And the disguise: you call your heart

Could the Battle be over? I believe so. What a turn of events. What I find terribly interesting is that I made a choice about something. A big one. I feel very proud of myself. I can control urges. I just have to fight them off with God. He knows best, and now, so do I.

PS: I went to church today. It was a great sermon on the second coming and how our meager media circus generation will portray it when the time arrives. Very facinating when you think of it because of the "constant repeat" which will be shown throughout the world. If Christ does decide to show his face again, we can only hope he does it when people learn that everything shouldn't be taken for granted, and that the world is our own private sancuary for peace and love, not a big Jumbo Tron.